Interview....

Just had an interview......

It was a rather unpleasant experience...

We are judged based on our results... how many As.... how many stars behind your As...

First question I got "So first class or second class"

In my head "NO CLASS DAMMIT!" haha

So if I'm dun get 1st or 2nd I'm not human and dun deserve to live on earth issit?

okie, I know it's my fault for not working hard in my yr 1 to 3......in fact, I be very honest here.... I hardly go school at all in those years....

Never go lecture never go tutorial.... exam coming then borrow tutorial ans, print notes and read and try to understand wat was taught for the last 3 months in 2 weeks! I was even called to see one of my prof cuz he realise I dun go lesson at all....thought I die liao, get into trouble....he was being nice, juz wanted to know if I had difficulty(he actually asked if I had problem with drug!! I ask him "do I look like a drug addict to you")... yah I had difficulty coming to sch and waking up in the morning

Anyway, after the interview I felt so discouraged, I'm having my last paper Quality Control tmr and I still havent finish studying. I felt tat doin well this sem wont do any good, I'm already judged by my results even before I graduate. Silly to think tat way but really discouraged ma.... but good that I have friends and cousin to talk to.... feel better le...

Somehow I think I actually got something out this interview....not a job but something valuable....some thoughts and reflections

My results were rather pathetic in yr1 to yr 3....all Cs and Ds, failed 3 subs in the past but cleared them all. I had to do this module Strength of Materials 3 times, got F twice and B when I clear it last sem. I hated most of my subjects in yr 1 and 2, electronics and dynamics are NOT materials eng sub!!!...Only last semester my results were slightly better, mostly Bs and even got A- for my law module!! I'm expecting average B or slightly better for my exam this sem... Why the suddenly change of grades? No I didnt become cleverer.... I juz decided to go for lesson and be a student lor... not exactly the hardworking kind la.... I still skip lecture and tutorial abit here and there and never do tutorial but at least I know wat my modules are abt, got study abit abit lor. Effort made were paid off.... and I start to regret abt my earlier years in uni. Now I have to bring all my results to look for a job, I'm embarrass when ppl ask me for my transcript...questions and comments like "how come all Cs and Ds", "wa you fail this ah", "results not very good hur" etc are sure to come....

I felt humiliated and regretful but I've decided these are not wat I shd be feeling.

Those results are in the past, I did pretty okie in my last year. I changed, I learnt to be more responsible abt my work, I learnt to drag myself to sch everyday, I grew to be more independent. Failure in the past doesnt equate to failure in the future, you fail when you stop trying....tat's why I shd study hard for tmr's paper!!!

Think how many major setback successful people have to go thru.... I shouldnt let my past failure stop me from trying to achieve wat I want to.

I'm not afraid to say tat engineering is not wat I'm really interested in. I'm in it
Cuz it's my parents' wish to see my graduating from a local uni, so this is the least I can do to fulfil their wish.

After that I can try to pursue something I'm more interested in? Hopefully la, still got tuition loan to pay neh....haizz....

You know you can never be good enough...nobody can.... why feel bad for being human?