Dilemma...

I went for biathlon training yesterday.

The Lifeguards were also training yesterday.

For a while, I felt torn. I want to be training with the Lifeguards too, I sorta feel as if I'm missing out on something.

I've been training with them for quite a few months and the team is fantastic! We trained like 4 times a week, everyone put in so much effort and make this season one of the best NTU Lifeguard had had for years.

Actually in some sense I feel alittle extra in Lifeguard after I hand over the committee. I can remember how stress I was when so many things were being thrown at me but it was manageable because I have great committee members to help me. Now, it seems tat I'm sorta part of a wallpaper, I guess this feeling is normal ba.

Also, I sometimes feel tat I'm not really tat suitable for lifesaving compeitions. I cant sprint for nuts and being alittle smaller in size (actually I'm not small size, juz not heavy enough) really put me in alot of disadvantage I feel. It's like wat I'm most useful for is to be the victim for competitions. I cant canoe, cant tow the manikini (which is probably only 2 to 3 kg lighter than me when it's fully filled)... I think I'm like whining now....sigh... the thing is I juz feel alittle discouraged about competing in lifesaving compeitions. I really want to but I feel so limited.

Was talking to my sweetie about it last night and he agreed with me tat I am actually more suitable for biathlon than lifesaving events. Well, I was in biathlon in year one then I joined in lifeguard in year2. I would say tat I enjoy both.

Lifeguard is very different from biathlon, it's not juz training and competing. It's learning to work together, training and improving together. Alot of us are new to lifesaving competitions but we learn and pick techniques up and brainstorm for new ideas for different events. Other than competitions, there's committee and course too. I've been through all and I think I've learnt alot.

Hmmm, come to think about it, I think why I feel so extra in the team is probably because I still dunno how to really be part of a team. I'm very individual in the sports I do. I was in track and field and cross country last time and these are rather individual sports, so is biathlon ba.

My friend ask me why am I not in the lifeguard committee this year, I told him it's because I want to concentrate on my biathlon season and since I'm also in my final year I cannot afford to be in the committee this time round. Since I already made tat move, I think I will just follow what I've planned.

But this is definitely not the end of my lifesaving competitions, I have decided tat I'm going to pick up this sport and continue with it for as long as I can.

I'm Jenny the Lifeguard and the Biathlete!!! (wa, sound so cool wor, haha)